Thursday, August 24, 2006

Super Man(drill) - Dean Fastow

In the lighter side of Superdom, the (ironically named) Freedom City Zoo has announced strange behavior from one of its primates. The 6 year old Mandrill by the name of Aurelious has begun acting strangely. "It began with his mimicking our behavior, he would walk around his enclosure and pretend to fill out forms, jot down notes, frown or smile. Then one of the staff gave him some crayons and paper, and he began drawing shapes similar to the signs around the enclosure. " The zoo keepers report that Aurelious's behavior extended to other areas. He began walking upright, a feat not unheard of for the Baboon-like animal, but not common. He also began to construct small, simple machines, such as levers and wedges. Although simple by modern standards, engineers have long held that those simple devices form the basis of modern engineering.
Specialists were brought in and continue to study the mandrill. The theory is that the Event may have affects some mutation in his genetic structure enhancing his intelligence.
Event related incidents involving animals have mostly been limited to death and illness, but the prospect of super-animals has only now been considered. Member of PETA have joined with the ACLU to demand access to the testing done on Aurelious. ACLU representative Kelly Busby: "If Aurelious is exhibiting human level intelligence, we must consider whether he has rights, and whether he wishes to remain in the enclosure or not."
Charleton Heston could not be reached on the prospect of intelligent Apes running free in the world. As of the printing of this article, the Statue of Libety was still intact.


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